I never used to sarge strippers because I kinda found strip joints a little dirty. But I have been doing more of this lately and my perspective has totally changed. Now I love sarging dancers. This is the one situation where you are almost guarenteed to meet at least one or two 9s and 10s. They are hot and most of them are really sexual. Plus, like other hired guns, it is their job to open you! Dancers are typically a pretty tough pull, but I love a good challenge and I've had some pretty good success with them recently.
Reframing Fears and SPs
Here are a few common fears and SPs for sarging dancers that I have read about:
- it's hard to tell the difference between real IOIs and HG IOIs
- the women are too beautiful to take me seriously
- they are irritated by being hit on by drunk chodes
There are some valid reasons for concern, but there are ways around these sticking points.
I use some of the same reframing I use with other hired guns:
I don't look for IOIs. I assume it's always on.
I know that I am cooler and more interesting than the other guys that have hit on these girls, so they will be pleasantly surprised to meet me.
I see this as the perfect playing field for practicing new material. The dancers are expecting you to be a chode, so if you stumble on your words it won't matter nearly as much as it normally would. Plus this is probably the best practice to get for being comfortable meeting 9s and 10s in other settings.
I walk around like I am the bar owner. That body language is SO fucking attractive to dancers and it's very rare for them to see it from a 'customer.'
Here is my 'taking the power back' reframe:
1. Is this chick after my money? Yes
2. Does she have to be extra nice to me to get my money? Yes
3. Can I use her forced friendliness frame to my advantage in attracting her? YES!
Common Mistakes
From my own experience and field reports I've read, the most common mistakes with sarging dancers are probably:
1. Being phased by her beauty. A lot of newbies struggle with the especially, simply because they are not used to being around women that beautiful. The best cure for this is experience, but I find that it really helps to pay extra attention to your body language. When I am sarging dancers, I force myself to be aware of everything that my body is doing so I can't communicate anything be comfort and confidence.
2. Insulting her profession. I used to make the mistake of trying to 'neg' her by subtley knocking her profession, as if it were not 'good enough'. I learned quickly that this doesn't work for attraction. It is probably the fastest way to get blown out without mentioning the word syphillus. Don't knock her job or her for what she does. Refer to her respectfully as a dancer, not a stripper.
3. Playing the Mark. Dancers have routines, which is analagous to PUA routines. Except the goal of their routine is not to get your number or to fuck you. Their goal is to get your money. Break her out of her routine and get her into regular chat mode. I find that the easiest way to do this is to avoid answering her questions for the first few minutes (what is your name? where are you from? etc). Those questions are just her way of convincing you that she cares. Counter her questions with your regular material. Careful not to buy her stripper IOIs because they are not real. Don't reward until you know you have taken her out of her routine.
Other mistakes to avoid: getting jealous when she dances with other guys, paying for dances, staring at her body (better to keep strong EC), waiting for her after work, asking where she lives, etc
My General Strategy
1. I never open. Wait for her to open me. It's her job. She makes money by opening chodes. So I let her think I am just a chode and open me. Then I immediately frame-smash her.
2. I am stacked full of one-liners (like waitresses). I am money at CF. I have something interesting to say every time I chat with her.
3. If possible, I get her to invest something in me. I tell her to save my seat while I run to talk to someone, grab a drink, or go to the bathroom.
4. I nickname her if possible.
5. I provide social proof. My best chance at getting a dancer has been when I am social with everyone and I indirectly communicate that I am friends with or have dated other exotic dancers.
6. Consider working in the bar. I have mixed feelings about dating girls you work with. I kinda see it as shitting where you live, so I haven't field tested this myself. But I know a lot of guys that have hooked up with HGs by getting jobs in coat check, DJing, bouncing, or bar-backing.
7. Befriend the staff. This is a good general rule for sarging HGs and it's really important for dealing with strippers. I try to make friends with every member of the staff I see before I approach my target: bouncers, coat check, beer bin, bus boys, DJs, MCs, managers, owner, etc. Give them more attention than the strippers. It may take a few trips to the club really get 'in' with the staff. But once you do, it makes sarging the dancer MUCH easier. Value is assumed and you are no longer viewed as a customer.
8. Demonstrate knowledge. I try to show that I have some knowledge in exotic dance lifestyle, like interview procedure, tips, benefits/drawbacks, costumes, etc. If you aren't sure, ask about this kind of stuff next time you are in a club... it's well worth it.
9. Be respectful of her job. Don't insinuate that it is demeaning. Refer to them as dancers, not strippers.
10. I do everything I can to get her out of game or work mode and into chat mode.
11. I find an excuse to move them (near speaker or whatever). This works as a mini venue change.
12. I never accept a dance from her unless it is free or one of my buddies are 'forcing' me to do it (credit: Mystery). If you end up getting a dance from her, tell her to stop after a few minutes to chat.
13. I go on slow nights. I have found that no matter how much I DHV in the first few minutes, she will still have dollar signs in her eyes when she looks at the 50 chodes beside me. You may find that you don't even get opened on busy nights if you don't look like an easy target, so go on week days or whenever the off days of the club are.
14. I have also found that to be really successful, you need to be able to work fast. A lot of dancers will leave after X amount of minutes of not making money. Some clubs even have policies that enforce this on them.
Sample Routine
Here is a sample routine I've been using fairly successfully lately...
I go out by myself and purposely sit near the speaker.
1. Open
HBStripper: Hey hun. How you doing tonight? (or whatever her canned opener is)
PUA: Hey, I need to ask you something. Do you think it is rude to tell someone that they have something stuck in their teeth?
HBSt: No. Why?
PUA: Good, because you have a something orange stuck in your teeth.
HBSt: Really?
PUA: No, I'm kidding. But seriously is that rude?
HBSt: (haha. No, I don't think so)
PUA: OK, well what if she had some toilet paper stuck to her feet? You would want to know if it was you?
Note: Almost every time, she will look down at her feet to see if there is toilet paper stuck there.
PUA: No! I didn't mean you! Jeez are you always this self-conscious? (wink)
HBSt: (haha)
PUA: No, I was talking about this girl that I was eating dinner with earlier this week. It was our first date. We went out to this nice restaurant. She was really sweet. She had a beautiful smile, she was smart, funny... the whole bit. Dinner was going really well, but these embarassing things kept happening to her and I wasn't sure if I should tell her or not.
HBSt: Really?
PUA: Yeah, she actually got a big piece of spinach stuck in her teeth and I kid you not, she had a 6 inch strand of toilet paper dragging under her shoe most of the night.
HBSt: (haha)
PUA: To be honest, I don't even know how that happens. What do women do in the bathroom to get paper stuck to their feet? For the longest time I thought it was something that only happens on TV. But I've seen it happen a few times recently. I am totally befuddled by it.
HBSt: haha (whatever)
PUA: Anyways, back to my question. Should I have told her? And how exactly do you tell someone they have butt paper stuck to their foot without hurting their feelings?
HBSt: (laughs and gives her opinion)
PUA: That's actually pretty good advice. Cool. You are not the typical party-girl exotic dancer are you? (credit: 60 years of challenge)
PUA: Let me ask you something else. If you could have any super power in the world, what would it be?
HBSt: (99% will say flying or invisibility)
PUA: Interesting answer. Most people say (whatever she didn't say).
HBSt: Really?
PUA: Yeah you know what? I am going to make you my new side-kick. I'm going to call you 'the blurr.' With your (her super power answer) and my brains, we will be unstoppable! Where should we go first for our crime fighting spree?
(then play around with the role-playing stuff for a few minutes)
2. Move her
PUA: I tell you what, it's a little loud by this speaker. How about we move over there somewhere.
HBSt: Do you want to go out back for a dance?
PUA: No thanks. I'm not working tonight. (credit: lifeguard)
3. She asks your name
Note: if she asks too early, I respond with 'We'll get to that in a minute, first answer my question.' Otherwise, I do something like this...
HBSt: What's your name?
PUA: Let's see. What table am I at? Oh, I guess I am Mark at table 6?
HBSt: No, what's your real name?
PUA: Ok, I tell you what, 'the blurr'. Rather than tell you my name, let's make a game out of it. Have you ever played jeopardy game before? (credit: modish)
HBSt: No, what's that?
PUA: It's actually a really fun game for getting to know someone. Rather than me tell you about myself directly, I give answers to questions about me and you have to guess what the questions are, like on Jeopardy. Make sense?
HBSt: Sounds like fun.
PUA: Yeah for sure. Ok, are you ready? Here I'll start with something easy. Answer number 1 is Vaoncan.
HBSt: What is your name?
PUA (confused look): No, that's the name of my fish. OK, I'll make the next question a little easier. Here we go, the answer to question 2 is steak.
HBSt: What is your favourite food?
PUA: Close. That is what I used for my sign to advertise my garage sale on my lawn.
HBSt (laughing): How is that close?
PUA: I was just trying to be nice. OK, just one more question and I promise no tricks this time. This is a really easy and pretty obvious question. Are you ready?
HBSt: OK
PUA: Answer 3 is 50-cent.
HBSt: Who is your favourite rapper?
PUA: No. That is how much money I found on the street on the way over here. Man, you suck at this game. Who's 50-cent?
At this point, she is hooked and if she's not, then I want nothing to do with her. Now we switch roles and I let her do jeopardy on me. When she plays and says a name, ask 'what is your stage dancer name?'
After jeopardy, I will usually give a small compliment or SOI like:
"Wow, not only are you sexy, but you are much more creative than I expected."
"Considering all of the low lifes that must come in here and bore you to death, you are still surprisingly polite and interesting."
For the rest of the sarge, I focus on fluff talk, qualifying her, kino (club policy permitting) and developing rapport.
I've used this routine about 10 times now and it's gotten me 3 number closes and 2 make outs. No F-closes yet but I feel pretty good about my chances.
Other Sample Material
LINES TO WIN OVER STAFF
Any male staff: 'You realize you are the envy of every guy that comes in here for getting paid to see beautiful women get naked.'
Bouncers: 'Dude, I envy you. You must see some crazy shit. Hey what is the craziest thing you ever had to kick a guy out for?'
DJs: 'What was the last track called?' 'Do you DJ anywhere else?' 'That was the best set I have ever heard in a gentlemen's club. The last place I went to, the guy was trainwrecking left right and centre. The beats were all over the place. He didn't know a crossfader from a cross-over dribble.' (use basic DJ terminology)
FALSE DISQUALIFIERS
I typically don't use FDs right away. Hired guns are suppose to talk to you, so there is no bitch shield to fight through. I usually use a FD just after I have raised the sexual tension to keep her guessing.
"The last time I dated a dancer, we were so attracted to each other that all we did was have crazy animal-like sex. We couldn't even hold a normal conversation. So I promised myself I would never date a dancer again."
"You know what? It's too bad that I gave up dating dancers because you and I would probably get along pretty well."
"I'm just here for a drink. If you are looking to make money, those guys over there look rich." (credit: Lifeguard)
--> mixed results with this one (about 1/2 the time they actually go for the other guys), but it shows that you are willing to let her walk away so it can be worth the risk
"I think you're pretty cute, but you're not really my type." (credit: Mystery)
"Even if I hung out with dancers, I don't think you and I would get along." (credit: Seraph)
NEGS AND TEASING
Try to tease her on traits that she normally feels strongest about.
"I really admire you for being able to dance and be unself-conscious about her [birth mark]" --- or whatever possible physical 'flaws' you can notice about her
"That was a classic move you did on the pole."
(classic sounds like it was meant as a compliment but it can also be taken as 'typical')
C&F
When she tries to sit on your lap...
"Whoa! Easy! That's a little fast. You are feisty! How 'bout you take a seat beside me until we get to know each other a little better."
She asks you for a dance...
"Maybe but I'm not sure you can afford me. I charge $200 dollars per half hour and I have a strict rule of no touching below the waist."
Call her out on her 'stripper game'
"You're good. That was really smooth. That almost sounded like genuine compliment."
"We are broken up. Tell that dancer over there in the yellow thong that she is my new girlfriend."
STORIES
ask her: What is the craziest thing you have ever done to a customer on stage. I bet I have a crazier story! Ok, this is probably my fifth funniest stage story. A friend of mine was an exotic dancer and she was up on stage one night. She was near the end of her set and the stage was full of these guys on stage with dollar tips in their mouths. All of a sudden this guy gets up on stage with a 20 in his mouth, which was more than she usually sees, so she decided to do something out of the ordinary. So she laid over him and opened his belt. She kept dancing over him for a few minutes then undid his pants and pulled them down passed his tighty whities and the guy was pitching a tent, so I guess he got embassed and quickly rolled over on to his stomach. Then she noticed this huge skid mark on his crack and nearly fell over on her ass from laughing. She could barely finish her set because she was laughing so hard.
other stories: stripper tearing off the elastic band to the underwear, stripper looking down his pants and making the 'it's this tiny' sign with her hand to the crowd, strippers getting in fist fight on stage
Talk about the most amazing vacation of your life.
COLD READS
"You don't seem like the typical exotic dancer. I feel like there is more to you than meets the eye."
"You look comfortable here. I get a sense that you aren't as self-conscious about your body as when you first started working here."
"So many people are so judgemental about things. You seem really open and fun." (credit: Mystery)
KINO
Check with the house rules before touching. Some places will boot you for touching her even if she is into it.
If the rules are lax, use your normal stuff (fist pump, pop and lock, trust test, spin, hug, smell her hair, etc).
COMPLIMENTS
If complimenting body parts, compliment on stuff is specific to her and she probably doesn't hear much about.
"So, you are a not only the cutest girl working here, you can actually hold a conversation. You must have regulars at each other's throats to get dances from you."
"Considering the amount of drunken old men that come by this place to hit on the dancers, you are still surprisingly fun and polite."
QUALIFYING QUESTIONS
"If you could take a vacation in any city in the world, where would you go?"
"What is the first thing you would do with a trillion dollars?"
"Did you take dance lessons as a kid?"
"Tell me something about you that most people would never guess."
"Aside from dancing, what is your best talent?"
CLOSES
I take the same approach to closing as I do with waitresses and bartenders. I never ask for her number when they are around other customers. I usually give her my number or a schedule a day 2.
Crappy sketch artist close. Draw a stick figure of her saying one of her catch phrases or opening lines over the phone with you ('Hey hun, where are you from?'). Label her as your nickname for her below the picture ('The Blurr'). Draw yourself on the page saying one of your CF catch phrases to her ('This relationship is never going to work'.) Label yourself using your name. Also write your number on the page. (credits: Ross Jefferies and 60 years of challenge).
THE END
As always, comments/questions welcome.
Peace & Love.
Vaoncan
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